16 Steps to Glory (Amid a Move from Hades)

My wonderful wife Debbie and I are closing in on ‘done’ with our first move in a decade.

We were in our 40s the last time. Now we’re … not.

And for the first time in close to a quarter-century, we’re in a 2-story home.

“Are you sure?” I asked Deb, more than once.

“Yep — it’ll be good for us,” she said.

Uh-huh.

Actually, it’s gotten easier in just a few days than it was the first few times, when I counted the 16 steps the way I used to count out push-ups — very painfully, rarely successfully.

But my heart isn’t quite leaping out of my chest as it did at first.

I told my doctor I was moving to a house with its own built in 16-stair Stairmaster.

“Good — do 100 of those a day and you’ll be fine,” he said.

I neglected to ask if he meant 100 STAIRS, 100 trips up OR down the thing, or 100 round-trips.

Remind me not to ask him.

I also learned once again that the longer you are in one spot, the more … stuff accumulates. I’ll call it ‘crap,’ because that’s what I said under my breath with every too-heavy box of books I never read and never WILL read that got lugged up or down said 16 Stairs of Fun or into or out of a car.

We had 3 amazingly fit and burly guys do the truly heavy stuff. But they are fit, and we… well, the low point so far is when a 1,600-page (I kid you not) book on Office XP (what, 2-3 Offices ago?) decided to follow the laws of gravity and slip out of a plastic bag of Books I Hate and Will Recycle and fell… on my big toe.

Nope, didn’t break it, but it sure throbbed for a few.

So if you check my personal Facebook profile, you’ll find atop the page right now a prime example of why those 16 Stairs of Hateful Revenge on Old-Age Metabolism are worth it.

Until/unless the housing bubble blooms again (we’re in a half-built, at most, NE Bend neighborhood), we have a clear view of why so many of us put up with so much of what we’re not fond of here on the High Desert — a glorious view of the mountains and the sun setting behind them.

Almost makes up for every wheeze, ache and book-on-toe we’ve encountered (so far).

A bit closer to Heaven, you might say.

Hopefully, thanks largely to the 16 Stairs of Joy, Heaven can wait.

Even if the last boxes at the old place cannot.

Stricter commenting guidelines?

Here’s The Central Oregonian’s, wonder what percentage of our comments at KTVZ.COM would survive if we firmly enforced such a set of rules? (Heck, I’m guilty of ‘random thoughts’ myself now and then;-)

Commenting guidelines:

This is intended to be a constructive forum for the use of civilized people. Please adhere to the following principles:

No obscene or vulgar language, either direct or obscurely spelled or couched
Don’t slander or libel fellow commenters, reporters or subjects of our stories
Post comments that pertain to the topic – no advertising, soliciting or ‘random thoughts’
Don’t promote illegal activities, violence or hatred of groups or individuals
Remember: this is you. Say things you’re proud to have the responsibility for authoring.
Feel free to suggest corrections, enhancements, ideas for follow-up stories.
Flag comments that you see that are in violation of these principles

If you violate these principles, you may be permanently banned from participation.

The National Survey Survey — Enter to Win! (Or Lose!)

Thank you for responding to this request from the National Survey Association! (Which popped up on your computer screen and won’t go away, so what choice do you have?)

Our research has shown that the average number of surveys the average American encounters in an average month averages 1,034 — up 194.2 percent from our last survey survey, conducted a year ago.

We know you may be feeling overwhelmed with the number of restaurants, utilities, bookstores, gas stations, massage parlors and animal husbandry facilities – among others — who are asking you on a card, phone call or those receipts to please take “a few minutes” of your time to “tell us how we’re doing.” (As opposed to the old-fashioned way of, um, how much of a tip you give or saying something nice (or not so nice) to your server-person, the manager (if he or she isn’t busy reading all those surveys) or a blank-faced embroidered-shirt doofus at the local Big Box.

But you should know that America’s Businesses have become so automated that we don’t believe in face-to-face, voice-to-voice contact. Only numbers count – and the only way WE can count YOU is to amalgamate your views with that of the Public at Large, so we can decide how best to serve YOU! Whoever YOU are.

So please do fill out this very brief, 48-question survey, after providing us the same e-mail address, demographic and income info, blood type and shoe size we’ve asked of you after each of the previous 1,048 times you’ve visited our Website or answered this call, always precisely timed for when you are in the shower or otherwise indisposed.

As for this survey about surveys (which we call ‘The Mother of All Surveys,’ and you’ll soon see why), we promise cross our heart hope to expire shortly that this VERY brief survey will NOT take any longer than 4,263 minutes to complete, after which you of course will be entered in a prize drawing for the Special Gift of Your Choice (a cheap plastic pair of binoculars, gawd-ugly tote bag or compact tissue holder with built-in tweezers).

Oh yes, the questions we’re asking include:

On a scale of 1 to infinity, 1 being “I wouldn’t answer this question if it gave me the last airpack on Mars” and infninity being “I want to marry this store and bear its children!”…. how much do you agree with the following statements?

–My favorite hobby is filling out surveys.

–My sole purpose in life is to fill out as many surveys as possible.

–I enjoy surveys because I hate face-to-face interaction and prefer anonymously praising or carpet-bombing the places I shop, eat, or otherwise must make use of.

–I love love LOVE surveys because I have absolutely nothing better to do with my time. Nothing. Whatsoever. Trust me. Or ask my wife. Wait, don’t ask her.

–I believe today’s American businesses have absolutely no way to find out what I like or dislike other than these online or endless phone surveys that present such leading questions as to stack the answers in the way only masters of spin control can.

–The only thing I enjoy more than filling out an endless parade of surveys is watching Viagra or Cialis ads, with his-and-hers bathtubs and soft romantic music that also leave 4-year-olds across the country threatened with a mouth full of soap for asking, “Mommy, what’s a four-hour erection?”

Again, from the deepest recessed hearts of the National Survey Association (motto: “We haven’t a clue unless you tell us what to do!”), THANK YOU for agreeing to proceed to the following 1,093,426 questions on our survey (hey, it’s been a while) – and we promise to never, ever ask you all these questions again.

Until next week.

Hey, computers can have Attention-Deficit Disorder too!

Whoever you are, have a nice day!

Back to the Future: Loving Magazines Again

A quick note to say how much I love my Nook Tablet (when I can tear myself away from the keyboard to read on it.)

Books? A few. Web? Yep, looks fine.

But I’ve always been a magazine junkie, and had faltered and let many lapse because of my hoarding instincts, and also because of all those pesky renewal mailings, oy did I grew to despise those seemingly weekly nag-mails!

But on the Nook, not only are the magazines cheaper, but you pay by the month (feels cheaper and usually is), and it comes out of your account. No muss, no fuss. (I recently did the same thing with finally re-upping with OPB. Makes me feel good watching every Nova, Nature or Frontline again;-)

Anyway, some mags are smart and make it easy to get the Nook version of their magazines for free if you pay for the print subscription (which I’ll admit feels dumbly redundant but I understand the economics are … unsettled.)

That’s how I get Time, and Newsweek, and Wired. But I’ve also signed on for ones I’ve meant to read — The Atlantic (great long-form writing), Reader’s Digest (which keeps reinventing itself and is just plain fun), and geekfests like PC Magazine (which went digital-only years ago and is looking all tablet-spiffy in its latest redesign.)

Oh, and the last Newsweek, with Mad Men (not a fave show but hey…) on the cover, was completely done in 1966 look, right down to the ads. Mix of new info and nostalgia, so cool!

And I just read my first issue in years of U.S. News and World Report (remember that one?) and while it has a smidge of the light stuff, it’s straight-ahead Washington, D.C. news and … well, it’s a newsmagazine, not one big piece of fluff. Love it.

I told the kind folks at Barnes and Noble there’s just one thing you can’t get on it: The time away from work to enjoy it. But I’m trying!

Kleenex makes me mad

OK, not the tissues, per se.

But at some point this year, Kimberly-Clark decided to make the tall, roughly 280-count boxes of tissues I’ve bought since time immemorial … extinct, apparently.

Now don’t get me wrong – I don’t spend all my life blowing my nose or wiping away tears or picking up messes. But … I don’t like it when a company messes with my routines and makes me change out tissue boxes more often in various places around the house.

I have no clue why they did this, but all of a sudden, within a few weeks or months time, at every store I went to, they had just … vanished. Replaced in most stores by more house-brand rougher-on-nose tissues.

I was miffed enough to try to reach them through social media. Posted a note and evrything, and … no reply at all. (Maybe I’ll try the 800 no. on the bottom of the box – what, only weekdays 8a-4p CT? – if only to ask the logical question … why? A paper shortage? Slow sales?)

Ever have something you’ve bought as long as you remember, a daily staple of life just … vanish without a word? It’s ridiculous.

Another grand example – white sauce powdered mix (not the yucky canned stuff). Deb uses it for the sauce for a recipe we call ‘Eggs on a Cloud,’ a yummy dish from McCall’s Cooking School, a series of colorful recipe sheets and binder series from about the time we got married in the early ’80s.

For a long time, no problem finding them. Now, go ahead, check the sauce aisle. Hey Knorr, where the heck do you keep the stuff now? Or did you stop making it in favor of the fifth variant of teriyaki, BBQ or other sauces/gravies?

Little things, to be sure. But they add up, I tell you!

I guess it’s sort of like the notion that just when you  really fall in love with a TV show, they cancel it.

And don’t get me started about The Beatles and a decade (the ’70s) or two wasted waiting for ‘the next Beatles.” When we knew well and good there wouldn’t be one.

(Now there’s a left turn in conversation eh? Well that’s just the way I think;-)

Reclaiming Life, Sundays and My Blog

Sorry. Again.

As usual.

See, I tend to start thinking that this blog must have Finely Crafted, Very Important Things.

Otherwise it’s ‘Dear Diary, today I went to the grocery store….”

So rather than small news, I offer no news.

Because I’m too busy with “real news.”

Bleh.

So I’ll try to break that infernal habit and … just say it’s been a busy 4 months since I last talked here.

My eldest brother, Dave, came to town and … without bothering you with all the mess, let’s just say it’s been an unexpected … adventure. Some rewards but bizarre twists and turns and headaches.

He had a stroke in late September, but is doing better now, at a local assisted-living center. Driving them crazy a bit with his ways (don’t I know it), but … I love to make him laugh. I see a bit of my late brother Pete, and hear our late father’s laugh.

I’m easily prone to melancholy (I found a 1985 bottle of window cleaner and thought back and … almost went to tears. Over window cleaner.) So I thought I’d wait to blog until the situation family-wise resolved itself.

Like they ever really do in a neat package. This ain’t (yes, I said ain’t) no movie.

I will always try to make things enjoyable. Like the recommendation of the Nook Tablet from Barnes and Noble. Also sold at other stores that are hyping the only slightly cheaper Amazon Kindle Fire. Nook is better, but spring the extra $50 for the latest, not last year’s model. It’s worth it.

What a wonderful way to read my Time, Newsweek, Readers Digest, The Atlantic and great books like “The End of Business as Usual” by Brian Solis (I could link this but hey, you have Google too;-) or one I stumbled on thanks to WordPress, ‘Mindfire: Big Ideas for Curious Minds” by Scott Berkun. Check ‘em out and get to thinking of new things. What fun. 

(Ooh, WordPress has moved up the simple scale even farther, with live preview no less. Coolness.)

Anyhoo, thank you for reading this, and you have a wonderful, semi-stress-free, healthy holiday season.

I’ll blog more, I promise. And one way to do that is to give myself a 10-minute limit for typing so I don’t think I have to Tell Something Monumental. I post lots of links to things I find interesting on my Facebook page, but … blogging has its own nice lil benefits.

I’ll try not to be a stranger;-)

A Pledge to Reject the ‘Blame Society’

Fear, anger, frustration, disgust — or all of the above?

All of the above is winning in our latest KTVZ.COM Poll about folks’ prime emotions regarding the awful display of partisan bickering amid the debt crisis on Capitol Hill.

How do we break the seemingly endless, for-sure vicious downward spiral of juvenile finger-pointing, breast-beating and general lack of maturity in our politics?

As usual for a reporter, I don’t have the answers. But also like any good reporter, I want to at least help make sure we’re asking the right questions. That we’re not framing the issue the way the partisans on either side of the fight want us to. To at least open the mind to some different thoughts of our own, not those the folks who trout out selected red herrings want us to react – of pure emotion rather than logic.

Some of what’s below is no doubt from the Department of Redundancy Department. And I have little doubt that some will “see through” (heh) my fervent desires and brand me as a naive Pollyanna who loves the idea of a group hug and “Kumbaya,” who doesn’t understand how politics “really” works, etc. I know all the platitudes: “Those who stand for nothing will fall for anything,” “moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue,” etc.

Amazing how we’ve allowed “compromise,” “negotiation” and “moderation” to become dirty words in the eyes, minds and even hearts of too many. That it seems many would rather see the country devolve into civil war than “give an inch” on their “principles.”

Anyway, I pounded this out the other morning after another of those chain-letter e-mails with a pledge to “save our country” made the rounds. If you agree with much of it, great. If it makes your blood boil in “he just doesn’t get it!” fashion, oh well. But it’s from my heart AND my head, and … hope it strikes a chord or two:

A Pledge to Reject the ‘Blame Society’

1. I will not re-circulate every e-mail suggestion for ‘fixing’ Congress – or anything else – knowing that simple answers are for simpletons and emotionally based, feel-good wholesale changes usually are proposals that at least have unconsidered tradeoffs and downsides — not to mention being “dead on arrival” politically.

2. I will honor the Founding Fathers and their wisdom, but not believe they were ‘literalists’ whose every word, deed and writing was to remain unchanged forever more. They did not envision our world, and while their founding principles should always be embraced, to not advance or change to reflect today’s realities would be like hewing to every element of the Old Testament, literally.

3. I will reject extremism in ALL its forms, and will be wary of anyone who claims to have a corner on “the truth you won’t hear anywhere else,” because I know they are appealing to my heart and spleen and asking those to overrule my head, and they want me to believe “our side” has all the answers and good folks, and “their side” is wrong and dumb and evil, their every idea is to be rejected without consideration, etc.

4. I will encourage our elected and appointed leaders to truly consider ALL good ideas – even those from the other side of the aisle – and in tough times to resist engaging in the “he started it!” kindergarten whines that we all should have left behind in kindergarten.

5. I will point out cognitive dissonance whenever and wherever I see it, knowing that while all of us would like to have our cake, eat it too, not get fat and have someone else pay the bill, I left the world of fairytales behind at a young age and should not return to it in my adulthood.

6. I will stop letting anecdotal awfulness — the $1,000 hammer, the wayward cop brought up on charges – color my perception of my government, which like any large enterprise with a huge customer base will never please everyone, and who really does only one thing badly in widespread fashion — getting the message out of the simple, good things it does every day. It will remain in damaging paralysis when those seeking to bring it down or get their person/party in are allowed to paint government as evil personified. Government is a reflection of us and our strengths and weaknesses, and to assign it larger blame – or credit – than it deserves just makes it harder to get anything good done.

7. I will reject extreme “throw the bums out” term limits for what they are – a bid by those driven by anger, vengeance or political opportunism to turn from career politicians to perpetually amateur politicians who can be even more manipulated by career bureaucrats who really pull the gears of government, and lobbyists who are looking out for their companies’ and causes’ self-interests. As they should.

8. I will embrace true negotiation and compromise – not on principles, but on policies – and always call on our elected and appointed leaders to be specific about what they would do and have done, rather than waste our valuable time telling us all the bad things about their foes. Tell us why you are good, not why your foe is bad, because we have a brain and can judge and choose and remember all by ourselves, and the personal attacks and negativity say more about you than it does them. I will ask our leaders to be specific, be detailed and be honest about your proposals, and don’t appeal solely to our emotions or misguided wish for simple answers to complicated problems.

9. I will not  blame every bad thing that happens in my life or the world on our president or Congress (or local elected officials for that matter) and will not give them credit for every good thing, either. Much – in fact, most – of your life is beyond their control, thankfully.

10. I will not take comfort or joy in my foes’ failures or tragedies, will reject the notion that civil war or Judgement Day are things to eagerly anticipate (because our side will be proven right and the others will “get theirs”), and will try to walk a mile in my opponents’ shoes whenever possible. Because the only way to advance as a community, nation and people is to move forward together and leave the bickering for the 5-year-olds in the back seat on a long vacation ride. And just like then, I will be the parent, and when the ‘stop touching me!’ and ‘he started it!’ whines come from the ‘children’ in our ride toward the future, we will be the parent, and say, ‘I don’t care who started it — I’m finishing it!’ And I will cling fervently to the belief, hope and prayer that such a mindset truly is our only hope of peace and progress.

D.B. Cooper: How Some Typos Become Legendary

I was still a sophomore at John Adams High in Portland when the skyajcker forever known as D.B. Cooper dropped into history.

But five years later, I was working beside the man who named him. A man you’ve never known, but who was a funny, gentle man and a heck of a good reporter at United Press International in Portland.

His name: Clyde Jabin. And he was on duty the late-November night in 1971 when Cooper — shown on the passenger list as Dan Cooper — demanded all that money and two parachutes, and … well, the rest of the story is pretty well known.

What’s not as well known is how “Dan” became “D.B.”

In a time when wire services were the principal method of news disseminated far and wide, long before the Web etc., UPI was the David to the mighty non-profit Associated Press, which meant we had to outhustle the AP folks every day, running for our survival.

Anyhoo, as my mentor and friend, the bureau manager at the time, Billy Joe McFarland re-related for no doubt the umpteenth time on an e-mail list many of us former Unipressers are part of, Clyde was on the phone with an FBI agent and taking down the hijacker’s name. He apparently asked, on hearing the name, “D as in dog, or B as in Boy?” or somesuch. Whatever the answer was over that phone line, he typed both initials, and it went from notes to article to the wire (still sent to newsrooms around the world by clattering teletypes – remind me to tell you the “joy” of changing those ribbons some time) – and into history.

Just about every article that noted the two names over the decades has practically sneered at how the mistake became “fact,” through an “error” by UPI.

Anyone who’s worked in a wire service and has churned out the tons of articles we have (and they still do) knows that being your own editor is a tightwire without a safety net that can leave you swinging in the wind at times.

But from all I remember of the kind, gentle Clyde Jabin from the years I knew him, he didn’t let his unfortunate small role in history make him angry or bitter. He laughed it off, because, after all, to err is human, etc.

To make history with a mistake is far from unique. But Clyde, who died several years back in a tragic car crash, was just one of the memorable characters at UPI who I’ll always remember for their competitive spirit, the place where more than anyplace else you just had to keep running at a steady pace to keep up with all the stories to write and chores to perform (typing up the midday markets, changing the paper and those dang ribbons, answering calls of every kind – hmm, still do that, and it’s still as fun at times and exasperating at others;-)

That competitive drive and enthusiasm instilled at a young age has stood me in good stead, as it did this week when I got a neat little award from my boss at work. (I Facebooked it and was humbled by the outpouring of congrats).

I’ve made far more than my share of typos and mistakes in my writing over the years. Fortunately, it’s been a pretty small percentage of the number of stories that have been pounded out on this keyboard or that.

But I’d like to dedicate a little piece of that clear plastic award to Clyde and all the fine folks who have helped me and put up with me in all those years in journalism. I’d like to think Clyde is some place special now, where he got an exclusive interview with the real ‘Dan Cooper,’ who told him:

“Just call me D.B. – everybody does, thanks to you.”

My Words Are My Children

My wonderful wife (my biggest blessing for 28 years now) and I have never been blessed with children. Cats, yes, and they’re great, but… I once in a while think all the many thousands of words and stories I’ve written are my children, in a way, sent out into the world – good, bad, rushed or well-composed – to have their impact and make their way.

And much like kids, sometimes my words and articles do me proud, and other times they turn on me, when I haven’t given them the time and attention they deserve. Fortunately, with words, there can be do-overs of sorts, but on the Net, older versions can live on, so it pays to be careful;-)

I also think of the younger folks I work with – whom I see, alas, far more than my real family, living in other areas – as the people I can affect and influence into the future, bit by bit, answering their questions, editing their scripts (sometimes over-editing, for sure) and just generally showing an insane work ethic and things like that, that hopefully can rub off on them in positive ways as they make their own lives and careers happen.

So through a LinkedIn post I found this - the Tao of Journalism pledge - and it was so nice to see others in this media-blaming, government-blaming world try to find a common set of principles that are simple, not high-falutin and easy to understand. Honesty, transparency, accuracy – the things I cling to, to get by on a harried news day – all summed up nicely.

I hope things like that catch fire, and as I’ve written many a time, that we move beyond the Blame Society and the finger-pointing to find all things we do agree on.

America doesn’t stand for your side ‘winning.’ but listening to the other side, incorporating its best ideas and coming together to move forward. If that sounds like a blowhard politician, so be it. If we lived up to such a mission, rather than paying it lip service, maybe we’d get something done rather than simply know who to blame for what isn’t getting done.

Those who feed on fear, hate and divisiveness don’t deserve your time or attention.  The trolls who grab the microphone to, in essence, spit on those who provides it should be called out for what they are. Those who believe their political side, their view are the One True Way for a perfect society are misleading themselves and being used.

In My Humble Opinion.

Yep, if all of us only hated those who are filled with hate, we wouldn’t have a kumbaya Utopia – ain’t gonna happen – but at least we could have civil, rational discussions about very tough problems.

There I go again, off on the same ol’ tangent. Oh well, even if no one (or few) are listening, it feels good to state it.

Maybe one day there’ll be THAT kind of political movement, and we can get over the idea that any one politician will transform society. It’ll have to be us. And that’s a good thing.

Decisions, decisions – netbook or laptop?

I got my long-awaited new netbook on Friday at Best Buy — a Toshiba NB505. It cost me more than I’d hoped — over $400 with the memory upgrade to 2MB, the upgrade to Win7 full instead of the starter edition.

It’s quite cute. But it does take a bit getting used to the smaller screen and the half-sized shift key.

It’s under 3 lbs and sure … handy.

Then today, looking at the BB online circular (they are closed for Easter Sunday) I saw… a full-sized, HP dual-core (AMD) laptop for… $349. All five reviews so far are five-star (hey, this one was 4.7 stars on average so not bad;-)

So now I get to decide whether to go back and ask to swap or not. At least put my fingers on the other one, or … keep this? I don’t want cute, I want productive. And at max 2GB of memory here, what are the odds of bumping into that, doing what I do? I’m not sure, but typing this post here shows I can sure type fast on this lil guy I call Blue Max (for its blue lid, and in honor of Eugene Kaza, our band teacher at John Adams HS in Portland, and his electric blue violin — he played in the Oregon Symphony, no less.)

But as always, I digress. (Wow, unplug the AC and the screen is half as bright – maybe THAT’s why the power lasts longer, too.) I’ll try to be objective, weigh the pros and cons and … the feel of the choice.

I think one pro for the smaller machine is maybe I’ll take it more places – and blog more often. But my 6-year-old laptop was getting pretty wheezy, so either way, I’m blessed, thanks to my sweet wife and place I work, for being able to do this upgrade, whichever path I take. So a double thanks;-)